Hunger… and BAD breath!

Today is the first day that I woke up STARVING and actually really hungry since surgery… prior to surgery I always woke up very hungry and first thing I did when I woke up was breakfast. I gulped down my liquid vitamin crystals then drank 6 oz of a protein shake which took the edge off, but doing all liquid for another week is going to be tough :/ Nonetheless I am going to stick to it (mostly for fear of stretching/damaging my new stomach). Something I have also noticed over the last week is that my breath is super stinky from being in ketosis… from a lack of carbs and being on all liquid my body is burning fat into a chemical called ketones which make your breath and urine smell awful! This wasn't an issue the past week as I was either in the hospital or at home, but tonight I have to go to class :/ I will be heavily armed with sugar free mints!

I don't have class until 6:30pm tonight but think that I am going to head to campus early and get a jump start on some projects I have due soon… I am hoping that being out and about on campus will keep my mind off wanting food (versus sitting around at home constantly thinking about it!). I am also excited to go to work tomorrow… The wonderful family I nannied for over the course of last year moved too far away to commute to so I started with another amazing family this past January who has a 7 month old baby boy named Ravi. He is ADORABLE and I have missed him the last week and a half! I can't wait to see him tomorrow. I am also going to get on the scale again tomorrow morning to see my progress! Wish me luck ;)

Warmly
Caroline

Finally switched to the gastric sleeve!

Hey there... been a long time, but I am proud to announce that I have finally switched to the gastric sleeve! I had surgery (lapband removal + gastric sleeve) 7 days ago (March 27th) and am recovering well. I had to take another 6 months of nutritional classes to have the revision covered by my insurance, but it was well worth the wait.

What is the gastric sleeve you ask? Watch this video for a quick explanation :)

So before I get into how surgery was and my recovery so far, I need to eat a bit of humble pie. I had unfortunately put on ALOT of weight in the later part of 2013 and most of 2014... much more than I ever wanted to admit. When I went into surgery for lapband I weighed 304lbs, and by November of 2014 I was back up to 298lbs. It was the scariest thing in the world... here I was maintaining a 4.0 in graduate school, an officer in the counseling honor society, a mentor in my program, and working fulltime, but suddenly almost right back to the exact scary place I was years ago. It was daunting and humiliating that while everything else in my life was amazing, I had lost control of my weight and eating again. I was eating horribly and on the go all the time, and getting sick often from both poor choices and good ones. I contacted my bariatric doctor and we together decided that a switch to the gastric sleeve would be a much better option. I knew in my heart however, that I needed to seek counseling because until I could get a grip on the psychological aspect of my eating, nothing would ever work long term.

As a future therapist myself ( I am finishing graduate school to become a clinical mental health counselor) I am definitely a huge proponent of therapy, but had totally forgotten how scary it can be to be in the client role. I did not like my first therapist, but luckily found an amazing one shortly after that I have been seeing since November. I feel like I have accomplished alot with her and have gotten a much better grip on my unhealthy relationship with food. Since seeing her, I started working out again, began to eat better, and I went from 298lbs to 283lbs by early February. I am going to continue to see her twice a month to continue to work on my relationship with food.

Now onto my surgery! I was really lucky because my Mom came out again to take care of me for surgery :) I had to do a 3 day clear liquid diet prior to surgery which was totally awful (I had to do the same for lapband surgery back in 2012 and forgot how horrible it was!) but managed to get through it without mauling anyone. I clocked in at 279lbs the morning of surgery and was pretty excited. When I woke up from surgery, I was in alot of pain and very nauseous. I felt much more pain and gas with this surgery than lapband, but I was also in the hospital for 3 nights (whereas with lapband I was home the same day as surgery). Most gastric sleeve patients stay only 1 night to 2, but I had to stay longer because was throwing up some residual blood from the surgery and unable to keep liquids down for the first 2 days. 

Day 1 and 2 were sheer hell in the hospital... I was super bloated, gassy, and in more pain than I had ever felt. The pain meds via IV were making me too nauseated, but I couldn't swallow a pill yet to take anything else. My Mom brought me a popsicle and I was finally able to keep that down and got more liquid down by adding water to the popsicle and smushing it into a slushie of sorts. Despite all of this, however, the nurses on the floor called me the lap queen because I was really good about getting up every hour and a half or so and taking a walk around the floor with my IV stand. Day 3 was a huge turnaround, and I was able to keep liquids down, and was finally released home on day 4.

Since being home, I have been on a full liquid diet which is essentially a clear liquid diet plus protein shakes. I have been doing well with this and tolerating the protein shakes, but at day 7 I am now finally beginning to feel hunger again and am totally sick of liquids and craving "real" food. My stomach is really confused (and rightfully so now that 85 percent of it has been removed!) and everything feels strange. It is tough to tell when I am hungry or when I am full, but that is due to the nerve endings being in shock, and this should improve daily. Eating is a new ballgame as well... I am having to relearn how to tell when I am full. So far, I am able to tolerate about 2oz to 4oz in a sitting of a protein shake and know to stop when I get this little burp followed by a rumble in my tummy. I will be on a full liquid diet for another week before I move up to a pureed diet. 

I have been walking a little bit further with my dog Lola each day and feel that I will probably be back into an hour walking workout in another week. I am still pretty sore and still taking pain meds to manage this, but have decreased the frequency and amount as of today. My doc went through most of the old incisions from lapband which I am happy about because was afraid of new scars and a "frankentummy". The incisions seem to be healing nicely thus far. I go back to school tomorrow and luckily only have to work one day this week (nannying), but have had a solid 7 days off from everything and feel ready to start to get back in the swing of things. 

It feels good to be back blogging, and I am excited to progress and heal from surgery :) Talk to you all again soon!

Warmly

Caroline