Weigh in, exercise, and chili!

Hey again
So yesterday I was absolutely STARVING and frustrated and called one of my fiancé's Aunts who has also recently gotten the gastric sleeve done. She suggested asking my doctor if I could have chili (as long as pureed) because she found that low calorie, high protein, and filing around a week out where I am now. I called my doc and the nurse there gave me the go ahead telling me to take it slow and see if my new stomach could handle it. Lucky for me… it did! I must be a freak of nature because I have only  had chili one other time in my life because I am a very picky eater (and I believe it was drunken munchies with a friend so I probably would have eaten a shoelace) and I now LOVE IT! I ordered a cup of bison chili from Ted's Montana grill right by campus and it was delicious, tasty, and very filling. I was able to eat 3oz and for the first time since surgery felt like I actually had energy and was full. A full 8oz serving only has 210 calories and 20 grams of protein, so 105 calories and 10 grams of protein AND tasty is AMAZING. I am totally going to make a big crock pot of it at home and freeze some for whenever!

                                          If you like chili, this is amazing! Ted's Montana Grill

Being back in class wasn't bad after having some chili and feeling full of energy :) This morning I woke up excited to get on the scale, then was utterly flabbergasted that it STILL reads 273!!! How could this be?! I have literally been only eating liquids (mostly protein shakes) and about 400 to 600 calories a day since surgery! I have also been walking every day further and further. Frustrated, I turned to a bariatric forum I belong to and wrote about my dilemma. Apparently this is pretty normal after sleeve surgery. I guess my body is in shock from the surgery and from the lack of calories (and not to mention I still haven't had a BM since surgery). Other people on the forum wrote about this happening to them at first too, but then dropping between 5 to 10 pounds another week later. I am trying not to get discouraged because I know I am doing everything I need to do (eating right/what I am supposed to, drinking enough water, sleeping well, taking vitamins, going to therapy, exercising) so I just need to be patient and let my body heal.

I went back to work today(nannying) and it was SO great to see my little buddy! He is seriously the most smiley, happy kiddo I have ever nannied for and I missed him a lot while I was recovering last week. We went to a nearby park and fed duckies, laid in the grass, went on the swing, and goofed around. It was 75 degrees and sunny so it was sheer bliss!

                                                       My 7 month old buddy Ravi!

When it came time for little man's nap, I put him in the stroller and did a walk I had been doing pretty regularly before surgery around Sloan's Lake (2 and half miles around). My pace was not as fast as it had been before surgery, but this is the longest walk I have done since surgery 9 days ago and it felt great. I got a Fitbit Charge HR a few weeks before surgery and I love tracking how many steps I take, my heart rate, and calories burned! I am also using a cool little app called Map My Walk on my phone which logs how far you walk and your exact pace.

Longest walk since surgery 9 days ago!

The family I nanny for is going out of town tomorrow for passover until monday night so while I will miss my buddy again, it will be nice to have another few days off to catch up on life and homework and recovering. Hope you all are having a great week so far!

Warmly

Caroline

Hunger… and BAD breath!

Today is the first day that I woke up STARVING and actually really hungry since surgery… prior to surgery I always woke up very hungry and first thing I did when I woke up was breakfast. I gulped down my liquid vitamin crystals then drank 6 oz of a protein shake which took the edge off, but doing all liquid for another week is going to be tough :/ Nonetheless I am going to stick to it (mostly for fear of stretching/damaging my new stomach). Something I have also noticed over the last week is that my breath is super stinky from being in ketosis… from a lack of carbs and being on all liquid my body is burning fat into a chemical called ketones which make your breath and urine smell awful! This wasn't an issue the past week as I was either in the hospital or at home, but tonight I have to go to class :/ I will be heavily armed with sugar free mints!

I don't have class until 6:30pm tonight but think that I am going to head to campus early and get a jump start on some projects I have due soon… I am hoping that being out and about on campus will keep my mind off wanting food (versus sitting around at home constantly thinking about it!). I am also excited to go to work tomorrow… The wonderful family I nannied for over the course of last year moved too far away to commute to so I started with another amazing family this past January who has a 7 month old baby boy named Ravi. He is ADORABLE and I have missed him the last week and a half! I can't wait to see him tomorrow. I am also going to get on the scale again tomorrow morning to see my progress! Wish me luck ;)

Warmly
Caroline

Finally switched to the gastric sleeve!

Hey there... been a long time, but I am proud to announce that I have finally switched to the gastric sleeve! I had surgery (lapband removal + gastric sleeve) 7 days ago (March 27th) and am recovering well. I had to take another 6 months of nutritional classes to have the revision covered by my insurance, but it was well worth the wait.

What is the gastric sleeve you ask? Watch this video for a quick explanation :)

So before I get into how surgery was and my recovery so far, I need to eat a bit of humble pie. I had unfortunately put on ALOT of weight in the later part of 2013 and most of 2014... much more than I ever wanted to admit. When I went into surgery for lapband I weighed 304lbs, and by November of 2014 I was back up to 298lbs. It was the scariest thing in the world... here I was maintaining a 4.0 in graduate school, an officer in the counseling honor society, a mentor in my program, and working fulltime, but suddenly almost right back to the exact scary place I was years ago. It was daunting and humiliating that while everything else in my life was amazing, I had lost control of my weight and eating again. I was eating horribly and on the go all the time, and getting sick often from both poor choices and good ones. I contacted my bariatric doctor and we together decided that a switch to the gastric sleeve would be a much better option. I knew in my heart however, that I needed to seek counseling because until I could get a grip on the psychological aspect of my eating, nothing would ever work long term.

As a future therapist myself ( I am finishing graduate school to become a clinical mental health counselor) I am definitely a huge proponent of therapy, but had totally forgotten how scary it can be to be in the client role. I did not like my first therapist, but luckily found an amazing one shortly after that I have been seeing since November. I feel like I have accomplished alot with her and have gotten a much better grip on my unhealthy relationship with food. Since seeing her, I started working out again, began to eat better, and I went from 298lbs to 283lbs by early February. I am going to continue to see her twice a month to continue to work on my relationship with food.

Now onto my surgery! I was really lucky because my Mom came out again to take care of me for surgery :) I had to do a 3 day clear liquid diet prior to surgery which was totally awful (I had to do the same for lapband surgery back in 2012 and forgot how horrible it was!) but managed to get through it without mauling anyone. I clocked in at 279lbs the morning of surgery and was pretty excited. When I woke up from surgery, I was in alot of pain and very nauseous. I felt much more pain and gas with this surgery than lapband, but I was also in the hospital for 3 nights (whereas with lapband I was home the same day as surgery). Most gastric sleeve patients stay only 1 night to 2, but I had to stay longer because was throwing up some residual blood from the surgery and unable to keep liquids down for the first 2 days. 

Day 1 and 2 were sheer hell in the hospital... I was super bloated, gassy, and in more pain than I had ever felt. The pain meds via IV were making me too nauseated, but I couldn't swallow a pill yet to take anything else. My Mom brought me a popsicle and I was finally able to keep that down and got more liquid down by adding water to the popsicle and smushing it into a slushie of sorts. Despite all of this, however, the nurses on the floor called me the lap queen because I was really good about getting up every hour and a half or so and taking a walk around the floor with my IV stand. Day 3 was a huge turnaround, and I was able to keep liquids down, and was finally released home on day 4.

Since being home, I have been on a full liquid diet which is essentially a clear liquid diet plus protein shakes. I have been doing well with this and tolerating the protein shakes, but at day 7 I am now finally beginning to feel hunger again and am totally sick of liquids and craving "real" food. My stomach is really confused (and rightfully so now that 85 percent of it has been removed!) and everything feels strange. It is tough to tell when I am hungry or when I am full, but that is due to the nerve endings being in shock, and this should improve daily. Eating is a new ballgame as well... I am having to relearn how to tell when I am full. So far, I am able to tolerate about 2oz to 4oz in a sitting of a protein shake and know to stop when I get this little burp followed by a rumble in my tummy. I will be on a full liquid diet for another week before I move up to a pureed diet. 

I have been walking a little bit further with my dog Lola each day and feel that I will probably be back into an hour walking workout in another week. I am still pretty sore and still taking pain meds to manage this, but have decreased the frequency and amount as of today. My doc went through most of the old incisions from lapband which I am happy about because was afraid of new scars and a "frankentummy". The incisions seem to be healing nicely thus far. I go back to school tomorrow and luckily only have to work one day this week (nannying), but have had a solid 7 days off from everything and feel ready to start to get back in the swing of things. 

It feels good to be back blogging, and I am excited to progress and heal from surgery :) Talk to you all again soon!

Warmly

Caroline

Plateau and Frustration :/

Hi again!
It has been a while since I have posted because I have not had a lot to share unfortunately :/ I am bummed to report that I seem to have hit another plateau and think it is from a combination of things. My schedule has gone back into serious full swing again (working two nanny jobs, graduate school, honor society etc.) and I have not had the time (or I guess I should say have not made the time) to exercise as much as I was, and although I am still eating pretty well, since my addictions course ended, I have re-picked up a few bad habits (such as diet soda drinking, drinking while eating, etc). Needless to say, I have not lost any weight since my last post :( I have not PUT any weight on, which is a plus, but feel stagnant. I am also really frustrated with my lap band overall, currently, because things have been getting stuck more than usual that shouldn't be and I have been getting sick a lot.

I have taken some serious steps in a new direction this week that I would like to share. I realized that no matter what surgery I have, I will NEVER truly grasp control over my weight and become and maintain a healthy weight until I conquer my compulsion to eat (even when I am not hungry) and the emotional aspect of my eating. Yesterday I called an eating disorder center that has a staff of outpatient therapists that work with all types of eating disorders and troubled eating, such as myself (who may or may not be considered a food addict). I am going to start seeing someone once a week for a few weeks to see if I can work through some of my issues with food, which is a huge step in the right direction.

Another step I am CONSIDERING (not for sure about yet) is switching from the lap band to the gastric sleeve. My lap band doctor thinks that I would fair better with the sleeve, and I found out that medicaid would cover the entire switch as long as I attend one 4 hour nutrition class once a month for six months (which is what I had to do to get lap band covered). The classes are free and offered at my doctor's office, so I am going to start attending this month. I still need to speak with the insurance woman in the office to find out exactly how much I would be paying out of pocket etc.. but after doing quite a bit of research on the sleeve, I think it truly would be a better fit for me. In fact, many other bandsters I follow blog-wise are considering the same switch. The band was a good fit for me when I had nothing else to focus on but losing weight and nannying, but with planning a wedding, going to graduate school, being an officer in the honor society, working two nanny jobs, and getting a little R and R in-between! While no surgery is going to "fix" my problem for me, the sleeve seems like a much better fit.

Here is a video that explains the sleeve:
How Gastric Sleeve Works

Here is a page comparing the sleeve to the band:
Band VS Sleeve

With the lap band, the fills have been painful, it requires frequent tweaking, and I have been getting sick a lot. The gastric sleeve is more invasive, but Dr. Brown (my bariatric doc) thinks that I will have much more success IMMEDIATELY (think 90 lbs or so in 3 months) and overall for my busy lifestyle, the sleeve will work better. As I said, it is just something I am considering right now, but will let you all know what I ultimately decide of course.

Anyway, Steve and I had our 9 year anniversary this month and we celebrated it by going camping with our new pup Lola! Lola is a sweet little wiener dog/jack russell terror mix and we love her to pieces. Here is one of my favorite pics from the trip :)

I will post again soon with progress reports on all issues above. 

Warmly

Caroline

Making it Work

Hi everyone!
Been a very successful week in many ways… The class I am taking currently for my graduate program is learning how to counsel people struggling with addiction and I am not only learning a ton, but my major project has worked hand in hand with my weight loss! Our biggest assignment is to abstain from all mood altering substances (caffeine, alcohol, etc.) and any self identified "excessive behaviors" we struggle with for a total of 2 and a half weeks. Therefore, I have given up all alcohol (which I was trying to do anyway for right now because it is empty calories), caffeine, refined/excess sugar, and going to get fast food. I am happy to report that I have totally stuck to it for the most party and only slipped a little on the caffeine (which is hard to do when you have a summer class which you have lots of reading and homework in!). I am proud to report that I lost another 3 and half pounds this week which means I have lost all of the weight I had put back on before my lap band adjustment :)

I have been eating healthy and making meals ahead of time as well as packing portioned lunches. I found some great containers at Ross that help keep myself portioned for snacks as well! I have not eaten any fast food since my "incident" with the mini pizza hut pizza 2 weeks ago and do not plan on it.  I have been swimming laps when I can, but with being so busy with school and work, I have been having to get creative such as going on long walks with the baby I nanny for while he naps in stroller or taking walks on my breaks from class. As I mentioned last week or the week before, my wedding date is officially booked which is really exciting and even more motivation to get healthy.

On a more somber note, I found out that the father of a little boy I nannied for up until I moved to Denver this past January suddenly passed from a massive heart attack… It is tragic because he was only 57 and his son, Gavi, is only 2 years old :( He also has two children my age… this horrible tragedy has been a grave reminder that life is short and sweet and to live it to the fullest and love with your full heart and appreciate your loves ones everyday. I want to again say thank you to all my friends and family that have continually supported me through this weight loss journey (and throughout my life) and how much I love and appreciate you all. This is also a reminder that health is so important… The man who passed was incredibly healthy, active, and took care of himself and yet he still passed. Being as I am also adopted and do not know my genetic history, I would like to give myself every benefit I can to ensure my health for a long long time which means shedding this weight for good and keeping it off.

Thank you all so much again!
Love
Caroline

River Tubing Adventures and Reality Check

Hi all!
Another great week… proud to report I am another 2.5 pounds down from last week, woohoo! I have been wearing my fitbit again which has helped me get motivated to take more steps each day and continued to journal. This past weekend I went river tubing with my fiancé and my best friend and her boyfriend, which was TOTALLY CRAZY/NUTS, fun, scary, and a great workout. We went tubing on the Saint Vrain River (which was supposed to be much less crazy and intense than the Boulder Creek according to a guy we talked to at a raft shop in Boulder), but it was really intense… there was a lot of debris such as tree branches and rocks and it is certainly very difficult to steer without a paddle… you literally have to use your entire body to steer! It started out fun (albeit intense), then my poor fiancé nagged his foot on a stump and hurt himself and had to get out. The rest of us tubed down to where we left my car so that we could pick him up as soon as possible to treat his injury, and luckily we were unscathed other than a bunch of bruises and scratches. Won't be doing that again any time soon, but at least it was an adventure!

Getting pumped up to go tubing… little did we know it was going to be super crazy/intense!

Giant bruise on my bum from tubing

My poor fiancé's foot super swollen

One thing I was reminded of this week (because no one is perfect), is you mess up and eat what you are not supposed to, and you WILL pay the price. I was a dum dum and waited too long to eat on sunday, so I made a poor food choice and got a mini pizza hut pizza from a drive thru and attempted to scarf it down…Needless to say, it got seriously stuck in my band and was incredibly painful… I ended up throwing the few bites I got in right back up. A severe reminder to stay on the straight and narrow!

Anyway, I started my summer class this week and will continue to pack snacks and lunch so that I will not make poor choices. I was able to get in some laps tonight which was nice, and will go for a walk with the baby I nanny for tomorrow because I work 7am until 3pm then I have class from 3:30pm until 9:30pm. I am also really excited because I am putting down the deposit/officially setting the date and venue for my wedding next year this weekend :). Many positive things to come!

Warmly

Caroline 

Back to the Grind, But Doing it Right!

Hi there!
So after all of the lovely vacation at home in TX and then staying in the cabin in Estes Park with my fiancé and his Aunt and Uncle, I am back to the grind of working and I start class again next week. One thing that is very different from before vacation, however, is my eating habits. I am proud to say that I have packed my lunch every day I have worked since being back from Estes Park AND I left a box of protein bars and some greek yogurts at the house where I nanny to ensure that I have ZERO reason to buy food out or make poor choices. Since I have been on the straight and narrow now for about 2 and a half weeks, I literally feel better every day. And perhaps TMI (but helpful for other bandsters to know), since I have been eating a lap band diet and what I am supposed to, my BMs are much better and regular. I weighed myself yesterday morning and I have lost a total of 10.5lbs since my lap band fill 2 and a half weeks ago, which feels great. I also just found my charger to my fitbit bracelet so have it currently charging and can begin wearing it again tomorrow. I am still journaling which is very helpful too. I have not been able to swim everyday like I did when I was at home in TX because of my nanny schedule, but I swim when I can and have been taking the baby for long walks at the park and trying to keep active when possible. My next fitness goal; try a spin class AND to stop taking the elevator in my apartment building. I am on the third floor and I told myself when I moved in in January that I would ONLY take the elevator when I bring home groceries etc, but I have found that I take it more often and out of habit. My next food goal is to drink more water throughout the day. I found my favorite water bottle at my parents house that I had left the last trip I was there, and have been trying to bring it everywhere, but I still need to physically drink more water. I hope you all are well, and I will update next week with more progress!

Warmly
Caroline