Weekly Weigh In

Hooray! Did my weekly weigh in this morning and was delighted to see 262.6lbs on the scale :) The scale is finally moving along at a steady pace to match my efforts and it is a great feeling!

WOOHOO! 3 pounds down from last Wednesday

I have really wanted to go for a walk around Sloan's Lake (the 2 and a half mile loop I frequent at work) yesterday and today with the kiddo I nanny for, but he has a severe stomach virus so the parents have asked that I keep him at home. Been really frustrating to have to be at work when the baby is sick because I can't afford (time or money) to get sick again, but the parents are going through a lot of transitions with moving to a new house next week and the Mom switching jobs. Since I took two days off last week for strep, they really need me this week and have assured me that it is difficult to pass this virus from a baby to an adult, but regardless I have been super careful, washed my hands a million times, and avoided kisses and close snuggles. 

Unfortunately my day today is nuts (work from 8am to 1pm, then ENT doc appointment, then honor society meeting, then class until 930pm) so I will not be able to swim or walk today :(. I will have time tomorrow after work to go swim for an hour so look forward to that. 

Have a great week!

Warmly

Caroline

Tonsils from HELL, New Swimsuit, and Mid-Week Weigh In!

Hey there,
I apologize for being MIA most of last week, I had strep throat for the THIRD freaking time since January :( I have always had huge tonsils and have needed to get them removed for a number of years now, but with grad school have had a hard time finding the time to do so. I got strep on Monday night, then it continued to get worse because they gave a me a Z-pack antibiotic which I have apparently used so many times this year it was no longer effective :(. On thursday, I went back to the doc and got a steroid shot in the bum and and some penicillin and began to feel much better one day later. It was a rough week, but nurse doggy Lola took good care of me :).

Nurse Lola taking care of her human

I have an appointment with an ENT doctor on tuesday and will hopefully be able to schedule a tonsillectomy for this summer before the wedding so I don't have to deal with strep ever again!

I have loved being back in the pool, but as I mentioned in my last post, finding a comfortable athletic swimsuit that fit was a challenge (and I HATE ordering clothes/swimsuits online because you never know how they will fit). On Saturday I was feeling much better and decided to take a break from working on final papers for school to go check out some suits. I went to sports authority and to my chagrin, I found two beautiful size 16/18 TYR suits that fit me perfectly!! I have not been able to buy a speedo-esque "real" athletic suit without having to go to a specialty or plus size store since I was probably 19 years old… I was so happy I cried in the dressing room :) I chose this cool blue and tie-dye one and took it for a spin in the pool immediately after. I swam for 55 minutes and it was the most comfortable I have been swimming laps (without having to pull up my suit in the bust area or adjust it every lap or so) in forever. It was a pretty penny ($79!!), but totally worth it. 

Size 16/18 TYR!! LOVE IT!

Horrible picture of me because I was crying and a hot mess, but here is me in the suit!

I was also really pleased and surprised to see that Sports Authority now offers extended sizes in stores (1x through 4x) for all kinds of athletic stuff such as hiking clothes, yoga clothes, etc. This is a much needed and welcomed change because it can be so frustrating to have to specialty order these things online and guess sizing and pay more etc. Way to go Sports Authority!

I didn't get around to posting a weigh in last week because I was super sick with strep and tired/lazy (but STILL having to do schoolwork etc.), so here is my delayed weigh in from this last wednesday… 265.4lbs! Woohoo. I was definitely happy with that. 

Down 4lbs! Woohoo

I should have weighed myself this morning, but per my usual problem lately, I woke up late running out the door to work and did not have time. I am going to weigh in tomorrow morning which I look forward to because I did not have much of an appetite with strep last week and have been swimming and walking. 

I am truly feeling the grind (especially being sick all last week) and am counting down the days until the end of the semester in 2 weeks… I spent all day yesterday filming more family technique final sessions with my group from class then had to do/film myself conducting play therapy with a three year old which was fun, but I was gone on a sunday from 8am to 9pm which isn't much of a break or weekend! I have two papers due tomorrow at midnight, another due thursday at midnight, another two next monday by 6pm, and one last one next thursday by midnight. Needless to say I will be burning the candle at both ends and pulling my hair out until the end of next week. Wish me luck on all the papers and my weigh in tomorrow, I hope you all have a good start to your week!

Warmly

Caroline 

Beating Temptation, Swimming, and Instant Karma :)

Hey there!
Hope you all had a great weekend. Saturday I had a great day with my fiancé because it was the first "day off" we have both had together in a long time. We went to Boulder to do a cake testing with the bakery we are using for the wedding then walked around outside on Pearl street window shopping while the weather was nice for an hour or so. The cake testing was a real test of control for me, because the woman put out large pieces of cake for each flavor for us to sample. As I have talked about in other posts, sweets seem to really upset my stomach right now. Knowing this, I put a small piece of each cake flavor in my mouth and tasted it, but then spit each of them back out into a napkin (I explained my surgery to woman beforehand so she wouldn't think I was a freak of nature and totally rude!). In my head, I wanted nothing more than to eat huge bites of each delicious flavor and swallow it all, but obviously this is 1. physically impossible right now and 2. would do way more damage than the few seconds of bliss would be worth. It was actually rather empowering to be able to spit the cake out and have control.

Day together in Boulder with my fiancé!! :)

Tonight I went swimming at the gym for the third time since surgery and I was able to swim for 65 minutes which was awesome! I was only planning on swimming for 35, but had the energy and felt motivated to do more so I did. My swimsuits are all worn out at this point and don't quite fit right, so I tried to find a new one at Sports Authority, but the only size 20 swimsuit they had fit horribly and was holding anything together like it should :/ My temporary solution is to wear an old swimsuit and then wear a sports bra on top of it so it holds the girls in. I am going to look online and perhaps order one there…. There are plenty of cute swimsuits at plus size stores, but none of them are conducive to swimming laps (they are more for looking cute). I will let you know when I find one!

So here is a hilarious story that happened shortly after I got out of the pool… So after swimming I showered and was getting dressed in the locker room and these three 13 or 14 year old girls walk by me and start mooing. I turn around and begin laughing thinking to myself "just wait a decade you little shits you won't be a size zero either". Then they do the same thing to another heavy woman who turns around, stops dressing herself and sits down in the bench and starts sobbing. The girls booked it out of the locker room and I attempted to console the woman. The woman had a medical condition which required her to take meds that made her put on weight and she was already very self conscious of this.

After making sure the woman was no longer sobbing and OK, I walk outside to head to my car and see the three girls waiting on the curb presumably for a ride. I give them the stink eye and begin walking to my car when I see a van pull up. I thought to myself, I bet their ride would love to hear about how these girls treated people in the locker room. I run to the car and knock on the window and a middle aged woman rolled down her window confused.

I told her that I was sorry to bother her but that the three girls that just got in her van were harassing overweight women in the locker room and made someone cry. The woman's jaw dropped and before any of the girls could say anything she started yelling at them saying she couldn't believe how disrespectful they were then she made EACH of them apologize to me. She then told them that she was bringing them home now instead of to a movie and that one of them (I assume her daughter) was grounded. She then apologized to me and said she would take care of it and gave me her number to call if I ever saw them acting like that again in the locker room.

I thanked the woman and they drove off and I just smiled and waved. Moral of the story is that it doesn't pay to be an asshole! What an awesome mother for reacting the way she did. I bet those little shits will think twice about harassing anyone again (at least at lifetime gym!!!)

I feel lucky that at this point I can let things like that roll off my back and not bother me, but then again I have grown a thick skin at this point AND have the advantage of having extensive schooling and training to be a therapist so have techniques for coping with crap like this. This encounter just furthers my interest in working with teenagers as a therapist because I work well with this group… I am able to put up with their selfishness, obnoxious behavior, and comments, but not let it bother me (but I won't let them get away with it either!! ;)

Anyway, I have been taking magnesium potassium vitamin pills and this has really been helping regulate my digestive system etc. and I am really looking forward to my weigh in in the morning. Talk to you all tomorrow!

Warmly

Caroline

Weekend Update and Weekly Weigh In

Hey there
Hope you all had a great weekend. This weekend was my last crazy weekend class and it was actually kind of bittersweet... It was my family techniques class that I have had once a month fridays 5pm to 10pm and saturdays 8am to 5pm which was really intense, but I learned so so much and got a lot of actual counseling practice and role-play in. At the end of saturday, we did a really cool activity where we wrote down our name on a piece of paper, and then passed that piece of paper around and everyone else (including my teacher) had to write one word to describe that person. After everyone put a word on the paper, we got them back and it was really cool to see what everyone had written. Sometimes, despite my accomplishments etc. I can get really down on myself for my weight and I am scared that it conveys to other people. It was really awesome to see that my peers think I am bold, creative, strong, and encouraging :) I am definitely saving this piece of paper to pull out on a rainy day where I feel like crap about myself!

                              Very cool closing activity :) Love what my peers wrote about me!

Sunday I took it easy and caught up on schoolwork, then went on a date with my fiancé Steve (which we haven't done since my surgery!). It was really nice to spend some quality one on one time with him and he cooked me dinner (we had chicken tacos and I ate the meat without the tortilla).

Family time!

So this morning I was looking forward to getting on the scale, because I have been fast walking like crazy and still sticking my soft diet. When I got on the scale, it was 269.0, which was actually kind of disappointing :( I weighed in at 270.6 last week, so thats about a pound and a half, but I truly thought I would have been down to at least 267lbs with how much exercise I have been getting in. I am trying not to get too focused on the exact number and just be happy that the number is going in the right direction, but it is still really frustrating. One thing I forgot to post about my doc appointment I had last week is that my bariatric doc told me to get off the Miralax because he said laxatives are bad for gastric sleeve patients because 1. It forces food faster through the system and doesn't allow for full absorption of nutrients (which is already not as good bc of small tummy) and 2. Because I could become dependent on using laxatives as the only way to have a BM. Per his instructions, I stopped taking Miralax on wednesday, and starting using what he recommended which is a probiotic and a fiber supplement. Unfortunately, I still have not had a BM since getting off Miralax which is now a full 6 days. I am hoping that this is contributing to my disappointing weigh in, but regardless will keep trucking on and doing what I am supposed to be.

Down 1.6lbs from last week (last week I weighed 270.6 lbs)

Although I have been fast walking a lot, I have really wanted to start jogging again. I did track and cross country in middle school and some of high school, and used to really enjoy running/jogging. Today I went around Sloan's Lake with the baby I nanny for (something I try to do at least 3 times a week), but mixed jogging in with fast walking. I could only really jog for a full 60 seconds at a time, but I tried to do 60 seconds of jogging, 4 min walking, 60 seconds jogging, 4 minutes walking etc. Overall time is slower than on my own regardless because pushing the stroller at the same time and making sure baby is entertained if he isn't napping, but I am going to continue to increase the interval of jogging to try to get to at least be able to jog a full mile again. 

Walk/Jog around Sloan's Lake today

Today I bought a new multivitamin at GNC because I have been finding that the chewable big nasty bariatric ones are making me nauseous, and I am at the point where swallowing pills are no big deal. I saw a product I definitely want to try when I am eventually on normal foods which is PROTEIN CHIPS!! 120 calories for an entire bag and 20 grams of whey protein… yum! Obviously will be an every once and a while thing, but cool to see that people are making more protein snack options. If they taste good will be the question ;).

Anyway, I am not going to let this weigh in get me down and continue to push on, exercise, portion and eat right, and get through the rest of the semester. Talk to you all soon!

Warmly

Caroline

First Post Op Doc Appointment and First Dumping Syndrome Incident

Hey there…
Yesterday I had my first post op visit with my bariatric doctor and it went really great. My incisions look awesome (he went back through the incisions I had from lap band in 2012) and are healing really well. He cleared me for swimming and more/other exercise, which is awesome. He is usually kind of a stoic guy, so it felt really great to hear him tell me I was "doing great kiddo" and have him assure me that I was right on track. I have been keeping a little notebook with me and writing down everything I have been putting in my body and logging my exercise, so I showed him that too.

On a less positive note, I have been totally overwhelmed by the insane amount of projects and papers I have due for graduate school this month… I am seriously feeling the crunch and stress and feel totally overwhelmed with working, going to school, finishing all these assignments and trying to get some self care in somewhere. Yesterday I was particularly exhausted and needed a pick me up before meeting with a group for class... I ended up trying what I thought would be delicious… coffee AND protein! It was WAAAY too sweet for me, and about a quarter way through the drink I felt sick to my stomach and put it down.

                                                                       Never again!!

Within about twenty minutes, I suddenly felt nauseous, dizzy, and broke out into a sweat. I couldn't even drink water without still feeling nauseous. After about 30 minutes of this, I felt a little better and figured that hopefully everything would now be OK. Unfortunately, two hours later I began dry heaving, my stomach was killing me, and I felt weak, sick, and completely nauseated again. I now realize that this was probably dumping syndrome. Because such a large portion of my stomach was removed, things like sugar move much more quickly or "dump" into the intestines very quickly and can cause these types of reactions. Before surgery, this drink would not have tasted too sweet for me, but I now know from this incident that I cannot drink things this sweet. I felt sick pretty much the rest of the night, and was able to get some watered down crystal light and anti-nausea medication down the hatch before calling it a night and going to sleep.

I felt all better this morning when I woke up, but unfortunately got a devastating phone call from a friend's mother that my friend had passed away :( My friend Brandy had cerebral palsy and her mother was told when she was 2 years old that she probably would not live to be 10 due to the severity of her condition and other confounding medical problems. Brandy not only lived to be 10, but overcome all odds and lived to celebrate her 29th birthday in March. She often had seizures, and she had a series of them in a row that her body just couldn't handle. I am heartbroken by this news, but also so so grateful for the time I had with her and all of the memories we shared and am glad she is no longer in pain. I can still see her sweet smile when I close my eyes and know that she is still smiling, now from above.

Have a good rest of the week.

Warmly
Caroline

Weekly Weigh In!!

Hi there
I woke up today and shortly after had a HUGE smile on my face, because I am FINALLY seeing some results on the scale. I officially weighed in at 270.6, which means I have lost another 3 pounds. I am so relieved, because it was very frustrating to not see any results last week when I was doing everything I was supposed to. I think my body is finally starting to realize that this is the new "normal" and adjusting instead of fighting the changes.

Finally some results!! Happy Caroline :)

Today was a busy day full of catching up on school work, cleaning, and doing laundry etc. I did get in a nice 2.5 mile walk in my neighborhood which, even on a cloudy day, is beautiful because you can see the mountains (one of the many many reasons I love living in Colorado!). 

View on my neighborhood walks

I go back to work tomorrow and am excited to see my 7 month old buddy again. I have class right after work, so I am officially back in the full swing of things. I am going to get in a nice long walk for one of the kiddo's naps (he naps better in the stroller than anywhere else!), then the family I nanny for has said I can shower there before class which solves my dilemma of not wanting to get too sweaty or walk too far on work days where I have class after. I am excited to see my doctor on wednesday for my first follow up appointment and show him all of my progress! 

Hope you all had a good start to the week :)

Warmly

Caroline

Holding fuzzy Baby Chickens, Delicious Meatloaf, and Relief:)

Hey there!
Hope everyone had a wonderful Sunday (and Easter if you celebrate!). Today was mostly spent slaving over finishing my 13 page paper, but I had a wonderful break hanging out with my friend Morgan and holding her new fuzzy baby chickens! They were fuzzy and totally adorable and I may or may not have  tried to walk out with one ;) Enough craziness here without adding in baby chickens, but very cool to have a friend who is raising some for eggs/as pets.

 Holding Baby Fuzzy Chickens!!

I went on a nice evening walk tonight in my neighborhood before dinner and wore my new regular size  women's XL workout gear from Old Navy which made me feel great. I walked for 2.69 miles and my pace is fastest it has been since surgery (about 18 minutes and 20 seconds a mile) which was nice. 

New workout gear!

Nice early evening walk

So I am not officially supposed to start my pureed diet until tomorrow, but I started early tonight by having my fiancé Steve make his amazing home made meatloaf. He was really sweet and put everything in the food processor before cooking it so that it would be nice and small pieces that would go down easily for me. It was the most amazing thing I have eaten since surgery… I took my time, chewed everything very carefully and fully, and was able to eat 2.5oz in about 25 minutes then stopped. And, I actually felt really full (but not too full!) I got a nice food scale before surgery and it has been really useful with making sure I weigh out between 2 to 4oz for right now to make sure I keep my portions down and don't overdo it. Totally amazing to eat this little and be this sated and full. I am loving this as I have struggled with feeling full even with the lap band at times…this is a very good sign going forward! 

Sorry for the TMI again but I posted a few days ago that I was struggling with being backed up and not having a real BM since surgery which was frustrating. Because I am also posting for others with bariatric surgery I wanted to put it out there that Miralax is a lifesaver. I started using it a few days ago and the problem has been resolving and I feel much better. I am hoping for a better weigh in from this tomorrow!

The family I nanny for gets back into town tomorrow night, so I have one more day off work tomorrow that I will use to go on a nice long walk and get started on the many many upcoming assignments I have due for graduate school. I am looking forward to now being on a soft pureed diet officially because it now means I can eat greek yogurt and meat… YAY for real food!!

Hope you all had a great weekend!

Warmly

Caroline

Old Navy= Best Confidence Boost EVER

Hey there!
While taking a break from working on finishing the 13 page paper I have due tomorrow night, I went to the gym for the first time since surgery (all of my walks thus far have been outside because it has been beautiful out!). I did the elliptical for about 30 minutes and it actually felt really good! I didn't go as hard as I usually would as I still need to get clearance from doc on wednesday, but nonetheless I enjoyed being back in the gym.

After the gym I decided to go into Old Navy because I have ordered some great plus size workout gear online from in the past and could use a few new pairs of workout leggings. After I walked in, I immediately remembered that Old Navy only has their plus sizes online and almost left, but decided to take a look around anyway. I picked out some cute workout leggings and shirts in their regular size XXL to see if they MIGHT fit, but expected them not to. I was absolutely ASTONISHED to find out that not only did the regular XXL fit, but they were TOO BIG!!!! I ended up buying REGULAR XL workout stuff and was happy as a clam. I have not felt this good about trying on clothes in who knows how long (nor have I been able to buy a regular XL in a non-plus size store! :) I also happened to find an amazing pair of linen pants with a stretchy top which is PERFECT for me because they are professional enough for doing clinicals and observations at school, but comfortable enough to wear on my tummy with incisions (and very cute!).

Hell Yes! Regular XL linen pants with stretchy top at Old Navy

It was an absolutely gorgeous day out and on my way home I took a gorgeous shot of the sunset… A great end to a great day. Hope you all are enjoying your weekend as much as I am (minus the dumb paper).

Warmly

Caroline

Incision soreness, Senioritis, Wedding planning, and Matzo Balls!

Hey there!
Hope everyone had a great week thus far. So on wednesday when I walked farther than I had since surgery, I ended up taking my little dachshund doggie Lola on a walk when I got home from work. I ended up getting lost in my own neighborhood (we just moved here in January) and walked an additional mile and a half or so! Lola was pooped and so was I, and when I woke up the next day I noticed that I was incredibly sore on my right side incision and my stomach hurt a lot. The pain was pretty severe and I called my doc and was able to speak to the nurse there who told me it could be a number of things… I may have overdid it with the exercise, lifted the baby I nanny for too soon, or eaten too quickly. Either way, she told me to take it easy for a day or two which is what I have done.

This is my last semester of course work in graduate school before I do practicum (being a supervised therapist on campus for a semester), then internship (being a supervised therapist for free somewhere in the real world), and then graduate with my masters, and I have a serious case of senioritis! I have about a month left before summer and it has been really hard to focus on the many many assignments I have due when I am so excited about recovering, working out, losing weight, and planning my upcoming wedding! Today my fiancé and I met with out florist and bought his wedding band which was really exciting. I can't wait until I can devote all of my time to pinterest and planning every detail of my upcoming August Wedding, but  I have a 13 page paper that is due sunday at midnight that needs to get finished :(. I just need to be patient and budget my time between everything but realize that recovering and finishing this semester (and hopefully maintaining my 4.0) is my number one priority right now.


Tonight was the first night of passover and I celebrated it with my best friend and her brother, his wife, and their two kiddos. I wasn't able to eat much because still technically on full liquids, but definitely offered to make and bring the matzo ball soup which was sheer heaven. My doctor has told me to avoid booze until my wedding, but I had sips of wine for the seder when required and did just fine.

                                                     Matzoball soup is good for the soul!

I am definitely planning on getting some good walks in this weekend (but not overdoing it) in between catching up on the crazy amount of assignments I have due for school, and look forward to weighing in on monday. I am also looking forward to my first post-op appointment with my bariatric doctor on wednesday. I hope you all have a great weekend celebrating Passover, Easter, Spring or whatever!

Warmly
Caroline

Weigh in, exercise, and chili!

Hey again
So yesterday I was absolutely STARVING and frustrated and called one of my fiancé's Aunts who has also recently gotten the gastric sleeve done. She suggested asking my doctor if I could have chili (as long as pureed) because she found that low calorie, high protein, and filing around a week out where I am now. I called my doc and the nurse there gave me the go ahead telling me to take it slow and see if my new stomach could handle it. Lucky for me… it did! I must be a freak of nature because I have only  had chili one other time in my life because I am a very picky eater (and I believe it was drunken munchies with a friend so I probably would have eaten a shoelace) and I now LOVE IT! I ordered a cup of bison chili from Ted's Montana grill right by campus and it was delicious, tasty, and very filling. I was able to eat 3oz and for the first time since surgery felt like I actually had energy and was full. A full 8oz serving only has 210 calories and 20 grams of protein, so 105 calories and 10 grams of protein AND tasty is AMAZING. I am totally going to make a big crock pot of it at home and freeze some for whenever!

                                          If you like chili, this is amazing! Ted's Montana Grill

Being back in class wasn't bad after having some chili and feeling full of energy :) This morning I woke up excited to get on the scale, then was utterly flabbergasted that it STILL reads 273!!! How could this be?! I have literally been only eating liquids (mostly protein shakes) and about 400 to 600 calories a day since surgery! I have also been walking every day further and further. Frustrated, I turned to a bariatric forum I belong to and wrote about my dilemma. Apparently this is pretty normal after sleeve surgery. I guess my body is in shock from the surgery and from the lack of calories (and not to mention I still haven't had a BM since surgery). Other people on the forum wrote about this happening to them at first too, but then dropping between 5 to 10 pounds another week later. I am trying not to get discouraged because I know I am doing everything I need to do (eating right/what I am supposed to, drinking enough water, sleeping well, taking vitamins, going to therapy, exercising) so I just need to be patient and let my body heal.

I went back to work today(nannying) and it was SO great to see my little buddy! He is seriously the most smiley, happy kiddo I have ever nannied for and I missed him a lot while I was recovering last week. We went to a nearby park and fed duckies, laid in the grass, went on the swing, and goofed around. It was 75 degrees and sunny so it was sheer bliss!

                                                       My 7 month old buddy Ravi!

When it came time for little man's nap, I put him in the stroller and did a walk I had been doing pretty regularly before surgery around Sloan's Lake (2 and half miles around). My pace was not as fast as it had been before surgery, but this is the longest walk I have done since surgery 9 days ago and it felt great. I got a Fitbit Charge HR a few weeks before surgery and I love tracking how many steps I take, my heart rate, and calories burned! I am also using a cool little app called Map My Walk on my phone which logs how far you walk and your exact pace.

Longest walk since surgery 9 days ago!

The family I nanny for is going out of town tomorrow for passover until monday night so while I will miss my buddy again, it will be nice to have another few days off to catch up on life and homework and recovering. Hope you all are having a great week so far!

Warmly

Caroline